It’s late and dark and the time is mine alone now…
I’ve earned this right,
this right to drink my fine, sweet wine haven’t I?
I worked a job most people won’t work
and survived…
That’s worthy of a drink right? Of course it is…
And the first blindfold wraps around my eyes….
I am so excited..
I live for this, I really do—It’s a ritual;
I lovingly pour my small bottles of Chardonnay
into my stainless steel cup
and place it to chill…
so I can then chill…
and wait for the next blindfold to be put in place.
They are small bottles after all right?
No harm there, I can control how I feel…
I know when I’ve had enough right?
Come on, I’m a grown man—
Don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m doing.
The stainless steel cup is nice and frosty now
as is the wine inside;
and I begin to drink it—slowly at first,
waiting for the first small wave of that numb, warm feeling
to spread through my body;
like a woman laying her hands all over me
and stroking me from head to toe with her loving skin.
But..a little is never enough…
I turn on my favorite show; “The Prisoner” from 1967…
Number 6 and the Chardonnay make the world a better place
because I can now merge through the monitor into The Village itself
and the blindfolds can increase in number
and wrap around me
and numb me even more….
The cup is empty. Damn.
Its ok though..wifey’s asleep now…
I can sneak to my emergency stash
(I keep spares in my shoes, after all one must have his priorities)
and I can drink just a couple more…
They won’t matter because I’m still in control….
And a new blindfold wraps around my face entirely…
The cup is empty again…guess it’s a wrap.
I stop the stream of the episodes I’ve dreamt through;
Dozing in and out of consciousness and,
numb and giddy
I get up and swoon over to the table
to steady myself so I can,
once again, stumble into the bedroom.
The blindfolds get in the way though
as I have to go to the bathroom and,
upon arrival there,
lose consciousness altogether and fall
into the Garden tub headfirst
busting my head open
and taking the shower rod with me.
Silence.
Thank God she didn’t hear.
I’ll write about this later.
Just gotta get up now—
which after an eternity I do..and have wet myself.
And there’s fresh blood to clean up….
Oh well, at least she’s asleep still.
I clean it all up as dizzily as is possible and then
I change my clothes silently and clumsily
and swoon into the bed…
head splitting with pain and spinning with drunken spirals;
I fall asleep—
and the blindfolds wrap around my soul and whisper…
“See you again tomorrow”
As my body has already begun to shake…..
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