MaNiA: In rEal TiMe

We begin—

Timer set for five minutes…

And counting…GO!

This is what it’s like

Dealing with the brain

I carry around in my head

Each day and that I struggle

To keep focused

On the least little thing

While also reacting to

Everything around me

At the same time.

Questions from all directions,

answers needed and now—

“Oh a kid’s going off!

Better go get them!”

Am I going to get beat up again?

Oh well, let’s go—

And —

Here we  are—it’s all ON

Screaming

And clawing

And crying

And scratching

And me in a mask and rubber gloves

That are being torn off

Trying to contain and restrain

The fury and fire and misunderstood storm

Behind those blue eyes—forever it seems

Eons pass and, After a calming time

It stops…

But my brain is on fire—

A river of fire that runs through my brain

From behind my nose and eyes

And through the center of my head

Between my lobes and down into my spine

Faster and faster and FASTER

Pumped by adrenaline and mania and fear

Reacting to overstimulation and fight/flight mentality on steroids

–now it’s the time I’ve said enough and I’m writing this exercise and test…

I’m thinking and seeing in my mind’s racing eye

For NO reason

of grassy fields,

Iced meadows,

A house with a broken door

A roof collapsing on a ghost’s head

While the floor rises up to meet him from his grave-

Switching to visions of motorcycle riding gorillas

Riding rampant through a city of nuns

Spreading pamphlets about the Jehovah’s witnesses,

Switching visions to an army of scarecrows marching to protest matchboxes,

Switching again in my head to how I’m doing on the timer and how I’m

Going to clean this up

Or wrap it up

Without going on and on and on…rabidly spitting foam

Fingers flying

Mind racing

Heart pounding

Pulse shooting

Words, words, words

Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts,

Lust, rage, fear, anger,

SHAZAM! It’s Captain Marvel!!

…I’m so tired now.

GO ahead..Time me.

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