Ok. This is getting ridiculous.
It’s 1:00am and, despite having my “meds” in my system,
and being up since about the same time yesterday morning,
It’s 1:00am and my eyes snap open
like cartoon window blinds that say “WAKE” and “UP” on each cartoon eye.
…And so I get up;
because I NEED to write and the engine is fucking ROARING this morning.
My thoughts are racing like spectres across a morning sky,
seeking to get to their graves before the full light of the sun
turns them to vapor.
My head is so filled with thoughts, and emotions, and memories,
and ideas, and new stories and electric, whirring sparklers
that I could NOT stay in bed.
Like I said, I took all my “meds”.
Apparently, that was like shooting a bee-bee at a freight train.
I’m now back in my writing lair
telling you all this,
writing it all down in one
bleary, addled, hyper-driven, shout
to see if anyone understands….
Understands what it’s like to not be able
to turn off your brain, to have it going so fast
you can’t catch up to it with the speed of Mercury,
even when you have the tools to do it with…
The deep, drowning desire; the urge, to write, and write, and write….
Words and ideas pouting out of you like a Summer thunderstorm
and drenching you with the soaking need to get them into this outlet;
or on paper, or a onto pizza box, or the wall….or ANYTHING….
I wake up and automatically
see a “playlist” of today’s topics in my mind’s eye.
I lay there with phone in hand and type out the list and before I know it,
I’m looking at the clock
and telling myself “Ok, now just sleep for a little bit more..
and you’ll get to write it ALL out…OK?”
“NO!” my brain; now on fire, SCREAMS….
“This is MY time! The river is running so get off your ass
and get to the coffee machine, fuel up, quit your bitching,
AND GET SOMETHING WRITTEN!”…so I obey.
Someone once told me when you get rid of one habit
you pick up another…makes sense.
I gave up booze and THIS is now the replacement behavior
that has taken over it’s place.
This late-night mistress who calls and beckons,
just like a lover in the night,
to come and stroke the keys
and make those sweet, sweet words, my love…
Speak what is in your mind and open it to me….my darling…oohhh…
Don’t hold back, give me MORE….
Ok..I got all that out.
It’s 2:19am. I still haven’t had my coffee.