1:00am Full Throttle: Revisited

Ok. This is getting ridiculous.

It’s 1:00am and, despite having my “meds” in my system,

and being up since about the same time yesterday morning,

It’s 1:00am and my eyes snap open

like cartoon window blinds that say “WAKE” and “UP” on each cartoon eye.

…And so I get up;

because I NEED to write and the engine is fucking ROARING this morning.

My thoughts are racing like spectres across a morning sky,

seeking to get to their graves before the full light of the sun

turns them to vapor.

My head is so filled with thoughts, and emotions, and memories,

and ideas, and new stories and electric, whirring sparklers

that I could NOT stay in bed.

Like I said, I took all my “meds”.

Apparently, that was like shooting a bee-bee at a freight train.

I’m now back in my writing lair

telling you all this,

writing it all down in one

bleary, addled, hyper-driven, shout

to see if anyone understands….

Understands what it’s like to not be able

to turn off your brain, to have it going so fast

you can’t catch up to it with the speed of Mercury,

even when you have the tools to do it with…

The deep, drowning desire; the urge, to write, and write, and write….

Words and ideas pouting out of you like a Summer thunderstorm

and drenching you with the soaking need to get them into this outlet;

or on paper, or a onto pizza box, or the wall….or ANYTHING….

I wake up and automatically

see a “playlist” of today’s topics in my mind’s eye.

I lay there with phone in hand and type out the list and before I know it,

I’m looking at the clock

and telling myself “Ok, now just sleep for a little bit more..

and you’ll get to write it ALL out…OK?”

“NO!” my brain; now on fire, SCREAMS….

“This is MY time! The river is running so get off your ass

and get to the coffee machine, fuel up, quit your bitching,

AND GET SOMETHING WRITTEN!”…so I obey.

Someone once told me when you get rid of one habit

you pick up another…makes sense.

I gave up booze and THIS is now the replacement behavior

that has taken over it’s place.

This late-night mistress who calls and beckons,

just like a lover in the night,

to come and stroke the keys

and make those sweet, sweet words, my love…

Speak what is in your mind and open it to me….my darling…oohhh…

Don’t hold back, give me MORE….

Ok..I got all that out.

It’s 2:19am. I still haven’t had my coffee.

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