I’m up against the wall of working in a school where we have COVID with students who are aggressive and behaviorally unable to control themselves. They can and do attack, scratch, claw, bite, and hit because they have no other way to communicate what they need. They are just as trapped as we are and their souls just as strained.
Every day, my staff and I report for duty to take care of these Special needs students at great risk to ourselves, our physical health, and our sanity. We are all holding on by a thread.
As a result, I became an alcoholic and am just now coming to terms with trying to get sober. I have lashed out at my wife and family and become someone I don’t recognize in the mirror. I have black-outs, injuries I don’t remember and have caused pain and fear to the people I love becuase i am falling apart.
I have been sober for 12 days now and am getting help, but after 6 straight months of being drunk every night, it’s tougher than tough. My wife has given me ulitmatums, my kids are ashamed of me, my work has been so gracious and good to offer support and help but, I feel like a true failure as a man, husband, father and friend because of this affliction.
However, It may have me now—but it won’t have me forever. It may hold me bound in chains that aren’t visible; but I can break them. It may thin it owns me, but only I own my soul.
And I’m taking it back