Pajamas at 5:00: This is NOT a FRESCA Ad.

So I’ve been writing all day about a lot of weird stuff and even a couple of horror stories so– what’s the problem with a manly type guy like me changing into his flannel Pajamas at 5:00pm and getting ready to binge watch another old sixties show?

Nothing Dammit, My Dear.

This is the last day of the weekend I get to relax before I go back into the classroom of lions and do my face to face gig with a whip and a chair for another 5 days so I’ve decided it’s time to get into my newly non-alcoholic attire and start up the Amazon.

I have a lot of writing ideas churning around the imagination queue and who are now lodging complaints with the management that they cannot get written today but to thee I say “Take thy number and waitest thou in thy place in line.”

I’ve read the tarot, thrown the bones, scryved the water and cooled the jets and I am going to rest now.

I even got in touch with my “dual feminine” (as someone I know might say) and had me a good log hot bath. It’s been a good day. For a manly-man bath-takin’, PJ wearin’, cryin’ while he’s a-writin’ old dude. (Wow. That sounded WAY too Ric Flair for my tastes).

Last week was just a mauling and I refuse to have this week be the same. I’m DONE with that. Teaching is not worth this much constant pressure and two trips to the ER in three weeks. I haven’t checked work email since Friday and, unless they’re announcing the end of school as we know it on Planet Earth, I am not checking it until the morning. Even if Jesus was made Superintendent of schools over the weekend and all the water fountains now flow wine.

I still have just over about 2,000 words left until I finish my first manuscript and, crossing fingers, will do that this week and then throw myself at the mercy of an editor. I still can’t believe at 55 I am finally actually doing something I WANT to do with my time and refusing to be an indentured servant anymore. This new middle-age craziness is cool stuff kids.

So…why the image of Fresca? Well, I’ll tell you (Sung to the tune of the song from Holy Grail, “He’s going to tell…He’s going to tell…OH NO YOU’RE NOT DOING A SONG WHILE I’M HERE!). Ahem. Sorry.

So anyway, the Fresca. My therapist who is helping me with my alcohol dependency told me a trick. Get some of your favorite fruit (In my case Green Apples) and your favorite soda….put the soda into the same container you usually drink your booze out of and then soak the apples in the soda and then eat them. The apples mimic the sugar you get from alcohol and the crunching movement of your mouth satisfies the stress you have and also, for some reason, stops the craving you have for booze at the same time. And you drink the soda too which mimics the liquidity.

The craziest thing about it, other than how ridiculous it sounds, is that it WORKS. Like when people tell you to put campho-phenique on your foot and then put on a sock when you have a cold. (Google it, it’s a thing).

So–the sun is going down; it’s getting close to Fresca and apple time, I’m in my pajamas and getting ready to binge…and ok,, maybe do some more writing. Sue me it’s my replacement behavior dammit.

To all of you across the ocean or across the stratosphere; from me to you–Cheers!

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