Stepping out of Poetryville for a brief moment as I find myself looking at 30 days of sobriety. I still want a drink so much it eats away at my most inner being; that’s how strong a grip it still has on me. But; when you start to become someone that you aren’t when you drink– as much as I had begun to do, and start lashing out at your loved ones instead of being the “funny” drunk…it has to stop. In addition to that, the wonderful thrill of going to the emergency room for 21 stitches when I now keep passing out and falling is great…especially when you can’t remember anything you said or did the night before–it’s a complete and dark blank.
So…the Demons still live and dance in my mind and in my body; pushing me to “just have one–it’ll be fine! You can control it! while my body screams to numb itself from this world of insanity and uncertainty. They cavort and do their succulent best to turn me away from those I love and go back to the bottle….and it’s wispy, shining promises. I have said no for 30 days and I’ll keep saying no every day because I have seen them manifest in me when I drink and the damage they do. It will not stand. I will stand and be the wall against the dark man that lurks in my soul just waiting to be set free.
Get ready for a long wait sir, it isn’t coming. To quote Elton “This train don’t stop there anymore”.