The barred doors of the cell of the past and the misunderstood assumptions present in the ones close to the heart insure the cell of the future is to be a sentence of life; For the crimes of memory and resentment is a prison and offers no escape and no parole, And the key is... Continue Reading →
Perception is a fleeting mistress, It leaves it's kiss for a short, sweet, moment and then is gone; leaving an imprint on the heart, and opening the eyes of the soul to ponder the world and it's many realities; It opens doors to dimensions of change that all say "come and see"...
Oh, gentle hope-- You reached down with a grasp of mercy and brought me up to ride back upon the waves; From the pit of desperation, and breaking, your light shone into the midnight of my heart and broke me free from the chains of sleep to awaken in the arms of freedom...
At the crossroads and at the end of my rope, decisions made in haste can end up hanging me; I must press on though life is as hard as granite, as unforgiving as a true enemy, as hard to endure as the vilest insult, as heavy as a fallen tree... I press on or die.
"Everything Sucks. Leave me alone, please" https://travelwithintent.com/2020/10/17/are-you-living-on-barbed-wire/
The sails of the ship that propel my soul long to be filled with the wind of hope, only to hang useless and empty with the doldrums of hopelessness. https://en.support.wordpress.com/comments/pingbacks/
The Coffee here isn't good; Neither is life, though, so that's a good balance at least. I sit in the Coffee Bar/Diner in my head, "Joe's All Night Eats", and wait for the imaginary waitress with the heavy eyeshadow, smeary lipstick, dumpy figure, (complete with Sky-Blue, frilly uniform), and the obligatory 6 inch long cigarette... Continue Reading →
The chessboard of his day looms like a unbearable wasteland in front of him this morning. No matter what moves he makes nor what piece he moves, it will end with his King toppled. "Why move at all", he thinks. "Why not just stand still and let the pieces move themselves?" So...he withdraws from his... Continue Reading →
In Chess, A Rook is a Castle. A castle stands for strength and defense. My life stands for neither. Rooks have simple moves on the board; they can either go forward or backward... up or down. I find that is all I can do as well. The Past is a backwards move and I make... Continue Reading →
I'm up against the wall of working in a school where we have COVID with students who are aggressive and behaviorally unable to control themselves. They can and do attack, scratch, claw, bite, and hit because they have no other way to communicate what they need. They are just as trapped as we are and... Continue Reading →
The clock shows an hour until I leave; I feel like a porcelain doll facing a room full of hammers, with no way to stop them, just block it out; and having no cboice at the finish but to glue myself back together after the end of another day.
My mind wakes and stirs my hands to action on the keyboard. Like a lust in my body I write the words in a scream that I am falling apart.
I figured that since I can't sleep anyway, I might as well be up writing as opposed to just laying there thinking of things to be writing. This has been a brutal week. The work itself has been constant stress and waiting for the next shoe to drop, especially with one student who gets so... Continue Reading →
I teeter above the void of life's inner battle; suspended from chaos and anxiety's kiss by the thinnest of strands-- what is left of my soul's strength... I watch the band grow thinner under reality's grasp until it is as delicate as the whisper of a breeze.
My sanity is walking through a time of choices; on a wafer thin sheet of ice that cracks and splinters in my mind's eye.
Today stretches its' arms before me; beckoning me to join it's grasp, yet I recoil from it in a reflex wave of unease and terror.
I call anything From now on That makes me afraid, That keeps me awake at night, That makes me want to quit my Life’s work or worse, my life’s meaning.... Rubbish. I name thee Demon, And thy name is rubbish. You came close this time, Oh so very close, But you failed because I return... Continue Reading →
"Enough Dammit!" I finally say; after days upon DAYS of worry and doubt and anxiety-- Tomorrow I return to teach the Special friends I instruct each day -- and I do so with my whole heart exposed, as I am physically and mentally now, to so much; not only with risk of infection, and with... Continue Reading →
Dear cartoon mouse that lives in my ear and only comes out at 1:00am or so to pull my eyelids open, You, Sir, are no longer welcome in my life nor in the domicile of my mind and this is notification of your eviction. You are to vacate the premises, forthwith, under penalty of being... Continue Reading →
You’ve got to be kidding. Nope. Cartoon mouse is up and pulling eyelids open now AGAIN and it’s not even 1:00am. I mean, really?? Is there some great purpose from On High that I have to perform to keep waking up this way night after night after night? My mind is already careening around looking... Continue Reading →